Portobello Mushroom Deli Slices

I'm no good with rejection, but I persisted because I knew I had a good idea. So I simply kept trying. I would walk up to the deli counter at various grocery stores with a bag full of portobello mushrooms and discreetly ask if they would slice them up like lunch meat for me.

"I don't think we're supposed to do that," I would hear. "It's just gonna tear them up," was another common sentiment. Finally, I discovered an approach that worked. I let a few George Washingtons do the talking for me, and I let my partner in crime know that I would buy the mushrooms even if trying to run them through the slicer tore them up. It always worked out just fine. Yes! Now I have my own meat slicer so, I can make this dish any time I wish. If you can't get the mushrooms sliced, just slice them as thin as you can using a sharp knife. Tip: freeze the mushrooms for twenty minutes before slicing to make the job easier.

Once you have successfully obtained your medium-thin sliced mushrooms in any way you see fit, you are well on your way to a new world of lunch-y deliciousness. It is best to make a bunch of these slices and use them for sandwiches throughout the week. This recipe made enough for about 5 sandwiches for today's park picnic for 20+ folks; people who like pickles and this amazing stout mustard seemed pleased. Plus you have the scraps of the mushrooms left over for use in a tomato sauce or carbonara.

(I also learned that sandwiches with this homemade pimento cheese were in much higher demand than I expected. Noted, people. I will bring more next time.)

Portobello Mushroom Deli Slices

(makes enough for 4 hearty sandwiches)

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoons mustard (spicy brown or stout)

1 teaspoon (vegetarian) worchestershire sauce

2 cloves garlic (microplaned)

pinch of salt

plenty of black pepper

4-6 large portobello mushrooms (very thinly sliced)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Whisk the first 7 ingredients together until incorporated. Stack mushroom slices into an oven-safe dish and drizzle a little of the dressing between every other layer. Pour remaining dressing over the top of the stacks. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 1 hour. Allow mushrooms to cool throughly before placing them into a covered container and placing in the fridge.

The flavor is very meaty and the texture is perfect. This slices are great for lunch on rye bread with mustard and swiss. They would also make a fantastic reuben. This recipe tastes so much better and is much better for you than the typical processed meat substitute slices. This is something you should try today.